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03 July 2008 @ 04:52 am
Fic - Here's Our Story  

Title: Here's Our Story (Warren the Waiter)
Author: Milena D.
Rating: PG or K
Genre: Humour/Romance
SPOILERS: Only for episode 10x08 Memento Mori.

Summary: It wasn't a date! And he'd prove it. Spoilers for Memento Mori.

Author's Note #1: Just a little idea that wouldn't leave me alone despite my protests :P

Author's Note #2: Many thanks to Susan for beta'ing and Stef for beta'ing and inspiring this fic!  And thanks to Stef again for the awesome display icon/avatar! ^_^

 

ooooooooooooooo

Daniel’s leg was twitching and he was struggling not to bite his lip. Reveal nothing. That’s what Jack had taught him. Reveal nothing to the enemy, don’t give them anything to work with. He could feel the beads of sweat on the line of his brow and he willed them not to fall. Teal’c was stoic to his left, giving no indication of his discomfort. He had undoubtedly endured worse torments than these and tomorrow, universe willing, he would be free to suppress this memory.

Cam, on Daniel’s right, was hardly doing better. The muscles in his back had been tense the moment they’d gotten into range and they hadn’t lessened with time. He worked hard to control his breathing, he couldn’t let on that what was happening was making him want to run harder than he had in his life. That or start laughing hysterically. He watched Daniel surreptitiously under the cover of reading his menu and mentally grinned. He would crack before the second course.

“Back so soon, sir?” A young waiter asked, his hands placed respectfully at his back.

Teal’c and Cameron turned to their companion and tried to hide their grins and he visibly shrunk in the waiter’s presence.

“Ah, yes.” Daniel replied, forcing himself to straighten in his chair since he couldn’t help the blush that was overtaking his cheeks and neck. Cam would not win this thing.

“Well, Il Fiore Bianco always appreciates your patronage.” Their waiter praised Daniel, overlooking the obvious discomfort of the table.

Daniel nodded jerkily and Cam let his hand cover his grin as he rested his elbow on the fine tablecloth.

“Are you expecting more to your party?” The white-clad man asked innocently. Their dates. He was asking about their dates. Just like the hostess had. Just like the coat check had.

Daniel shot Cam a glare which his team leader took as victory and grinned wider. Ha! He’d see about that. Clearing his throat, Daniel searched deep down and found his resolve.

“No,” he replied confidently, his eyes never leaving Cam’s, “we’re it. We are friends and coworkers out for dinner.”

“Ah, very good, sir.” The waiter replied slowly, taken aback by the passionate statement. It made sense though, he’d obviously been uncomfortable with the beautiful woman he’d brought here. He was always glad to see people embrace themselves no matter what society thought. “Can I bring you anything to drink?”

“Yeah, I’ll have a beer, please.” Cam said, disgruntled with Daniel’s newfound wind.

“As will I.” Teal’c said, eyeing the rose on the table.

“I trust imported will be alright?” Their waiter asked. They nodded. “And bottled water for you?” He asked Daniel before he could voice his order.

“Um, no, not tonight. I’ll also have a beer, please.” Daniel asked. They could take a cab back to base, this night would require alcohol.

“Very good, sirs. Let me just light that for you.” He said, bringing a lighter out of his apron pocket. Cam’s hand dove towards the elegant candle holder and held the top down.

“We’re good.”

With a complacent smile, their waiter finally left them and the three men were left staring silently at the table, willing themselves to ignore the elegance and beauty of the establishment, or the curious patrons who kept looking over. They had no female dates, they had no briefcases to be making a pitch to clients with, they were just three guys facing off in a fancy restaurant and it was all Vala’s fault. Or so Daniel liked to tell himself.

According to him, if Vala hadn’t just believed him when he said their...outing...wasn’t a date then she wouldn’t have convinced the team that it was and he wouldn’t have been pestered by them throughout their ribs dinner about it. That, in turn, wouldn’t have led to him getting more and more defensive and agreeing when Cam posed his challenge.

Face it, Jackson, you would never have brought me and Teal’c to a place like that.”

Yes I would have!”

Prove it!”

Just name the time and place.”

The place is the pivotal point of the bet, Jackson.”

Right...so name the time!”

Tomorrow evening.”

Well I don’t know if I can get reservations that early...”

The guys eyed him as he’d just revealed another argument against himself.

Okay fine, tomorrow, I’ll find a way.”

So he had. And here they were. Just three buddies, chilling out in one of the fanciest Italian restaurants in Colorado Springs, just waiting for the others to crack.

Daniel eyed Teal’c from the corner of his eye. There was no way he’d crack first, he looked totally at ease in the dimmed lighting and little dancing flames of the candles interspersed throughout the room. He was even fascinated by the single, long-stemmed, white rose sitting daintily in the middle of their table.

Cam would have to be the one. He was the one who had posed the challenge so he’d lose face if he backed out but if the soldier was banking on him to give up, he had another thing coming! Working with Vala at his side for half a year had built his endurance to uncomfortable situations to a level he’d rarely thought possible. This little stunt didn’t bother him one little bit. It didn’t. Not. One. Bit. What time was it?

“So,” he started, desperate to dispel the awkward silence, “what’s new?”

“Since yesterday, you mean?” Cam asked unimpressed. “Or do you mean since an hour ago when we got off together?”

“Here we go, gentlemen.” Their odd waiter greeted them with his platter of drinks.

“Thanks.” Cam said as he accepted his overpriced brew. “That...wasn’t how it sounded.”

“How what sounded, sir?” The waiter asked, obviously lying, probably for their sake.

“Nothing.” Cam replied. Daniel watched with smug satisfaction as his neck got suspiciously pink.

“He just meant that there wasn’t much new to talk about since we spend every day together.” Daniel explained meaningfully, smirking as Cam’s eyes grew wider...and then frowning as Cam’s smile grew bolder.

“Everyday, side by side.” He agreed, raising his eyebrow as he accepted the silent challenge. He turned to the waiter with a conspiring grin as Daniel watched on in fear. “We haven’t known each other long but we’ve grown so close. You know how it is when you go through so much with someone, there’s just a bond there, a connection.”

The waiter nodded, his rapt attention sucked into the story.

“And him?” He asked, wondering about the silent hulk of a man on the opposite end of the table. Without missing a beat, Cam leaned back and accentuated his already obvious Southern accent. “Chaperone. We’re old fashioned.”

“Ah, I see.” The waiter smiled before returning to business. “Are you all ready to order?”

After giving him their orders, the waiter smiled again and left them.

“I hate you.” Daniel glowered at him.

“Pumpkin, you don’t mean that.” Cam replied indulgently, seeing the waiter hadn’t left their earshot.

“I wish I could credibly threaten you with bodily harm.” Daniel retorted before a lightbulb lit in his head. “I think I might let it slip that I gave you intimate details on my ‘real’ feelings for Vala tomorrow.”

“And what will that accomplish?” The colonel asked, crossing his arms and adopting his most uninterested facade.

“Well I might just let it slip...to Vala.” Daniel elaborated, watching in glee as Cam took on the full meaning of his words. “Get ready to spend the next few days with her tailing after you, pumping you for information.” His last words made a few eyebrows raise around the table...and at the table next to them...but Daniel stuck to his very weak poker face.

“Fine. Truce?” Cam proposed, sticking out his hand. Daniel took it and nodded.

“Truce.”

Now that silence had fallen over the table once more and they were all starting to relax in the overly romantic environment (the alcohol helped), Daniel’s thoughts strayed to the last time he’d been here. With Vala. He hadn’t really thought the whole thing through. He just knew she liked over-the-top outings and “shiny” things so he’d thought to bring her here. Daniel had wanted to have a nice evening with her, treat her a little, given the rough times she’d had lately. And he had. It had been a very pleasant evening until she’d been kidnapped. Sure, she’d very obviously flaked out of their serious heart-to-heart but he had come on a little strong when usually he stayed as aloof as possible. The surprise in her face had been obvious and it hurt him a little. She had left for the bathroom and he’d resolved to reign it back a little for tonight and try harder to break his distant attitude at work. But she hadn’t returned, she’d been taken away and he’d spent the next weeks blaming himself for it, he still did to some degree. She never would have left for the bathroom if his gentle and sincere behaviour hadn’t thrown her off so much, and it wouldn’t have thrown her off if he’d been honest and more trusting since she’d returned.

The arrival of the food shook him out of his more somber thoughts and the rest of the evening was spent as any other team night would, friendly and carefree. Finally, the dessert course came and passed and their meal was over.

“I hope Il Fiore Bianco provided a good setting for your first date.” The waiter smiled as he approached them and placed the bill book on the table. He left them some candies, threw them a wink and left to wait on other tables.

“It wasn’t a date! It was a dinner between friends and coworkers!” Daniel argued feebly at his retreating back. “Why am I still arguing this?” He had set out to prove it and now look what happened.

“Huh.” Cam voiced as he opened the bill.

“What is it, ColonelMitchell?”

“I think...the guy is hitting on me.” Cam said, perturbed but kind of flattered. He held up the bill to show them the name - Warren - and number scrawled on the back.

“What!?” Daniel exclaimed. “He explicitly knew you were here with me!”

Teal’c and Cameron gave him an incredulous look and Daniel realized what he’d said. He quickly pushed himself out of his chair and grabbed the bill out of Cam’s hand.

“Let’s just pay and get out of here.” He said decisively. He had a very strong urge to go spend some time with Vala. Maybe take her out again...but not here. No, he knew as they passed the hostess who smiled knowingly at them that he’d never be showing his face here again.

As they walked to the the corner to hail a cab, Teal’c caught Daniel’s attention.

“Will you admit defeat, DanielJackson?” He asked. Daniel gave a loud scoff in rebuttal.

“Defeat? I won. I took you guys out to dinner to the same place. It wasn’t a date.” He replied confidently.

“Tonight or with her?” Cam goaded him unrelentingly.

Both.” Daniel glared back at him.

“You are so full of it.” Cam laughed at him.

“I concur.” Teal’c intoned deeply, his eyes practically reading “drop the act.”

Daniel refused to dignify their interrogation with any more replies and kept quiet until the cab got there.

“It wasn’t a date.” Daniel said with more finality than before. The others shook their heads wearily and climbed into the cab. As Daniel followed them in and closed the door, he finished his sentence. “The next one might be.”

A wide grin grew on both their faces and Cam reached over Teal’c to tap Daniel hard on the shoulder.

“Finally you own up to it, you dog you.” Cam teased him. He’d worked hard for his pay-off. “Just you wait till we get back to base, you can sic Vala on me all you like, we’ll have a great heart to heart.”

His unmerciful teasing was only beginning and they all knew it. Strangely though, Daniel didn’t seem the least bit perturbed. He sat still, turned slightly towards them, a serene smile on his confident face.

“I have no problem with that.” Daniel informed him, maturely. “It’s okay if you tell Vala I’m taking her out again.”

Cam’s gaze met his with much suspicion. This easy acquiescence was surely a bluff.

“Good then, maybe I will.” He returned, sitting back in his seat.

“Just let me know whenever you’re free.” Daniel continued.

“Free for what?”

“For the date, the double date.” Daniel replied, pulling a familiar piece of paper out of his breast pocket. “I’m sure Warren won’t mind if Vala and I tag along. He seems like a fun-loving guy.”

Cam’s eyes measured him, trying to find a crack in this bluff. There were none.

“Okay, here’s our story,” Cam cleared his throat and addressed his teammates as he would in a briefing, “ we were friends and coworkers out for dinner, that’s it.”

Daniel smirked and reclined in his seat.

“That’s what I’ve been saying all along.”

oooooooooooooooooooo

Thanks for reading! Please review if you liked it! I don't have much experience at humour.


 

 
 
Mood: giddy
 
 
( Post a new comment )
hariboo_smirks: daniel/vala smug[info]hariboo_smirks on July 3rd, 2008 09:11 am (UTC)
AH! I've been missing some fun DV so much, and even though this really wasn't "Daniel/Vala" exactly, it was awesome. OH CAM! Hee. Of course he got hit on! Who wouldn't hit on Cam! :D
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:18 pm (UTC)
LoL, too much serious fic lately? I shall endeavour to brighten the place up more then. ^_~ And honestly, with those pretty blue eyes...^_^
[info]whytejigsaw on July 3rd, 2008 09:14 am (UTC)
Ah - really enjoyed that. Excellent fun, good twist.
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ^_^ I'm glad you liked it!
Celeste's Evil Twin...: DVAttraction[info]magnavox_23 on July 3rd, 2008 09:30 am (UTC)
Hahahaha! This is gold!

*thinks you totally need to write a sequel where Daniel takes Vala out and has to explain himself, teehee!*
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:16 pm (UTC)
LoL! I like that idea! ^_^ I'll keep it in mind! Thanks!
Stef: cam uncomfortable[info]scifi_tv_addict on July 3rd, 2008 09:47 am (UTC)
Mwah ha ha ha!! Finally got you to make this, and I'm oh so glad I pestered you about it. The whole fic is priceless! Cam is such an underused character sometimes, so I appreciate any chance to get him involved in stories - and you used him to perfect effect here. I can honestly say that I laughed out loud pretty steadily the entire time I was reading this, and it has now become one of my favorite fics, along with your Lou the Llama one :p

And Daniel & Cam? You could cut that tension with a knife ;)
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:16 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you pestered me too. ^_~ And you know I'm ready and willing to make Cam (and Daniel) as crazy as can be. ^_~

And...sexual tension, you mean? ^_~
(Anonymous) on July 3rd, 2008 10:27 am (UTC)
review acer-sigma
Ah, that was great! It would figure that Daniel would be goaded into trying to prove that the date wasn't a date. The fact that everybody was looking at the three guys and thinking they were 'together' was funny.

“I think...the guy is hitting on me.” Cam said, perturbed but kind of flattered. He held up the bill to show them the name - Ryan - and number scrawled on the back.

“What!?” Daniel exclaimed. “He explicitly knew you were here with me!”

LOL!

Pity the girls didn't follow them for amusement. ;)

acer
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
Re: review acer-sigma
LoL, thanks Acer! ^_^ About the girls...you never know what can happen in a sequel. ^_~
maevebran: D/V Bored Now[info]maevebran on July 3rd, 2008 10:31 am (UTC)
HeeHee! That is just too much fun.=)
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
Hehe, thanks!! ^_^
Eryndil: Smile[info]eryndil on July 3rd, 2008 12:05 pm (UTC)
Fantastic - hilarious fic. I really shouldn't read these funny ones while I'm at work!
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:14 pm (UTC)
LoL!! Thanks! I should have put a workplace-warning in the Author's Note! ^_~
scarym1[info]scarym1 on July 3rd, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
Oh that was quite amusing. Loved Ryan giving his phone # to Cam.
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
Hehe, thank you! ^_^ Although Ryan's name is being changed to Wade for parallelisms with my other whacky fic. ^_~ I didn't catch it before posting.
natalia5345[info]natalia5345 on July 3rd, 2008 08:32 pm (UTC)
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH
omg i love this sooo much you are insanely awesome and i love you. well i already did cause you were always awesome....I love you more? so so so good
holy moly
i'm so glad you wrote it lol you rock

xox Nat
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:11 pm (UTC)
LoL, thank you darling! ^_^ I'm glad I wrote it too, little bursts of comedy help with the overall writing I think. ^_~
anna_sg1[info]anna_sg1 on July 3rd, 2008 08:53 pm (UTC)
hahahahaha!!! Awsome! Loved it. :)
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 3rd, 2008 11:09 pm (UTC)
LoL! Thank you! ^_^
whisper99[info]whisper99 on July 3rd, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC)
That was very cute :)
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 4th, 2008 08:24 am (UTC)
Thanks! ^_^
ichinisa[info]ichinisa on July 4th, 2008 08:03 am (UTC)
XD, that was so fun! you really did caught the characters personality and i love mitchell too, do you have any more fics? i have to read more fics from you, this was awesome!!!! =D
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 4th, 2008 08:25 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! ^_^ I do have many other fics, if you check my tag list it'll guide you to them. If you're looking for more D/V comedy I've really only got one, it's called "Wild Animals". The rest are pretty much all romance/adventure/some angst. ^_^
bkwurm1[info]bkwurm1 on July 4th, 2008 06:36 pm (UTC)
Oh that was priceless. I was cracking up the whole time. I loved Mitchell stopping the waiter from lighting the candle (must be what gave the waiter hope). And the "just got off an hour ago part" Wonderful, only to be topped by Daniel being offended that Ryan made a move on his date.

Great stuff.
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 6th, 2008 06:41 am (UTC)
LoL! The candle bit seems to be a general favourite! ^_~ Thanks so much for reviewing! ^_^ I'm glad you enjoyed the story!
crying in their sleep ;;: daniel - coffee[info]odakota_rose on July 5th, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
*clutches chest in an effort not to laugh herself silly*
Gah.. hehehe.
Oh Cam.. How do you manage to get yourself into these things?
I love this, sequel, pretty please?

psst... *whispers*
>>Daniel refused to dignify *they’re* interrogation ...
"They're" should be "their" right there." *rereads that sentence* Oh, bugger.
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 6th, 2008 06:44 am (UTC)
LoL! Thanks Renny! I definitely want to write a sequel. With such a great response to this fic, who wouldn't? ^_~ We'll see where the muse takes me. ^_^

Oh lol!! Thanks for pointing that out! I swear there was a time where I was a pro with homophones, not so anymore. ^_^ At least I can fix it here, too lazy to go through the whole editing process on FF.net :P
crying in their sleep ;;: daniel - coffee[info]odakota_rose on July 6th, 2008 03:17 pm (UTC)
*happy dance* ^^
Yep, muses can be slightly crazy like that..

Hee, it's probably my fault for reading "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" a few weeks ago. It's the book's fault! XD
But yeah, the editing bit on ff.net is a bit complicated and generally I don't even bother, lol.
Maggie: d/v scarf: by ?[info]orbinglight on July 6th, 2008 03:42 pm (UTC)
brilliant story, i love it! :)
Milena D.[info]milena_d on July 6th, 2008 06:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! ^_^
~Jia~: SG1 D/V spank spacemonkey![info]secretbutterfly on July 7th, 2008 08:52 am (UTC)
::cough::sequel!::cough::

*looks up innocently* What?

I LOVED this. It seemed VERY in character to me, like it could have been in an episode.

Seriously though...sequel please?
(Anonymous) on October 27th, 2008 09:51 pm (UTC)
Squee!
Hilarious!